Bouncing Back: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly!

The Rundown

Life isn’t easy. We all go through trials and tribulations. Some more than others, but unfortunately it’s inevitable for bad things to happen – that’s just how life is. I try to be optimistic about things and count it all joy – but sometimes it’s hard… I’ve decided to share a few of my stories and how I’ve bounced back from them in hopes of encouraging someone (even if it’s just one person I’ll be glad!) I’m a huge advocate for mental health by the way, so I’ll be sharing mostly from that point of view, just a heads up! So, sit back, make a cuppa and enjoy!

The Good

What can possibly be good about hardships?! Well, I think there’s a bunch of helpful things that can come out of it… especially if you’re a person who welcomes growth and self-development! If you’re a little skeptical just keep reading – I promise you’ll get something out of it! Maybe a cookie if you’re lucky? Haha.

Growth: Of course I had to start with this one – if you don’t go the victim route and are open to reflection, hardships can show you where you need to grow. They often lead to new insights, learning and breakthroughs, which encourages and shapes you into a competent and capable individual! For example: If you struggle with mental health issues and suffer a breakdown sometimes you can learn from it and make it a breakthrough! How? Well in my experience, I had to learn that failure is normal and it’s often an opening to a new beginning… After my breakdown I moved to another side of town and experienced growth in leaps and bounds!

Building Resilience: Overcoming hard times can often enhance your ability to cope with other challenges in the future. Breaking through one hardship proves that you can handle whatever comes your way! Dealing with depression plus SAD in the winter months made for a difficult period in my life. But, now I’m happy to say I’m completely off my antidepressant and have made it through 3 winters. That’s an amazing feat that I’m oh so proud of. I couldn’t have gotten through it if it wasn’t for my support system and God.

Gaining Perspective: Hardships often provide a broader perspective on life, which in turn helps you to appreciate the small things in life (that are important!) and see through the next challenge. I learnt this the hard way. I still struggle being thankful for things and take many things for granted, which we all are guilty of. But, by going through life’s challenges I’ve realized that I need to slow down and be grateful for the things I have. Life is short and precious – like a vapour in the wind. It’s a beautiful thing if you think about it. I’m thankful I’ve been given this life and for all my trials and tribulations which have shaped me into the woman I am today!

Showing Empathy: Moving through challenges can increase your empathy towards others in their similar situations. This helps you to better understand and support those around you. I practice this by genuinely complimenting people throughout the day – you never know who is holding on by a thread. I’ve been there and have felt alone until someone reaches out with a simple gesture – a small wink, a smile, a compliment, kind word, etc…

Sparking Creativity: This one is tough for sure! Often times when you’re down in the dumps you lose your passions – anything that once seemed fun seems too overwhelming to even think about! I’ve been there. This is why it’s important to find community and build a support group – my local library hosts a craft group and I’ve found it helps me to stay creative. It’s actually called Create and Chat, and if you know me – you know I love chatting! So, check out your local library!!

Strengthening Relationships: Tough times can often bring people together. It may break relationships apart but sometimes you’ll find support from avenues you never expected. Family isn’t just blood – I have a few friends I consider family that aren’t, both online and off! I’ve become closer with some as we have literally been through thick and thin! I’m so thankful for these people and their support through my healing journey! Mom’s, older sisters, younger sisters, aunts, etc.

The Bad

Welp – I don’t have to say much here… hardships, trials and tribulations, challenges are, well… annoyingly bad all around. Who wakes up and says: I want a horrible, no good, very bad day! I should hope no one! Haha. Here are a few of some bad things related to hardships – but there is hope to bounce back!!

Emotional Distress: Mental breakdowns can lead to intense emotional distress, which can often feel hopeless. This can make a person feel detached from reality, and numb with a sense that nothing matters anymore. But with some effort and support these feelings can improve and level out. It takes time!

Physical Symptoms: Sadly, physical symptoms can show up in hardships and challenges – but they can be alleviated as well. These symptoms can be: chest tightness, digestive problems, headaches, muscle tension, shortness of breath and other stress on the body. Overtime if left untreated these can cause long term consequences – such as, chronic stress, inflammation in the brain, disrupted sleep, weakened immune function and changes in mood and memory.

Negative Coping Mechanisms: Affected individuals can often develop negative coping mechanisms such as: avoidance, isolation and/or substance abuse. This may in turn hinder personal growth and relationships and cause the recovery process to be longer and more painful.

Personal Setbacks: Setbacks such as continuing to lose jobs, relationships ending, financial stress, health issues, academic obstacles and career obstacles can often leave a person feeling left behind in life. Trust me, as an unmarried, childless, careerless, degreeless woman I’ve felt this way more times than I can count. I try to look at setbacks as detours – sometimes, life takes us in different directions and that’s okay!

But, on the plus side I’ve learnt not to compare myself to others. Some days it’s extremely tough but it’s a process. In the meantime, I’ve been working on a few aspects in my life which has helped me to grow more confident and give me a feeling of success and purpose. The main thing is keeping busy which I do through volunteering my time, working at the bakery, and my little business of course.

Backlash/Judgement: Have you ever felt judged by someone for something they have no idea what it feels to live through and experience? People can be the worst honestly. Have you ever opened up to someone about your struggles to later find out they told someone else? Ever felt less than because of something someone nonchalantly said? Me too! What is the best way to deal with this? Don’t react. People that thrive on hurting others are usually not interested in personal growth and will only bring you down. You shouldn’t excuse their behaviour but perhaps distance yourself for your own sanity. And, pray for them that their heart will change – they need it.

The Ugly

I think the “ugly” would just be that we have to face challenges – but how we look at them can often turn things around. If we count them all joy, or as a gift it becomes easier to get through the trial itself.

When we look at hardships as gifts in order to grow – we turn things around and encourage ourselves to look for the good. Looking on the bright side of things is so healthy. I’m often reminded of Pollyanna and the “glad game” If you haven’t seen the movie – it’s a good one! It’s so important to be glad in every season. I do my best to remember this.

Conclusion!

Setbacks, while challenging, can often provide opportunities for personal growth. They teach you how to better cope, problem solve and how to adapt to future tough situations. Seeking support and community, setting realistic goals and maintaining an optimistic outlook is the most effective way to overcome these trials. Adapting in difficult setbacks can transform even the worst of situations into learning experiences. You can grow through what you go through. If it was possible for me, it’s possible for you. And, remember – you’re not alone, lean into people even if it’s just helping someone else while you’re down – that can make a huge difference! Stay close.

If you’d to hear my personal success story – comment below and I’ll work it into a future blog post.